Life starts at conception. Better still, your life starts when you conceive your own dream and start pursuing it with passion, dedication and unwavering commitment.
DON’T RUSH TO GET MARRIED:
Yes, I know there is cultural pressure in Africa for young people to get married once they finish school or start working. My sober advice is:
Take time to responsibly enjoy your youth whilst you are single. Don’t just rush into marriage because everyone is getting married. Get married when you are absolutely ready for the responsibilities that come with marriage.
If you are below age 25, don’t be too preoccupied with trying to find a “life partner”. Focus on developing yourself in all aspects, be it career, spiritually, financially or socially.
Don’t think; “If I don’t find a life partner in college I might not find any, because they will all be taken up”. Focus on becoming an attractive and respectable lady, and there will be a Mr Right waiting.
Of course, there is no “Mr Right”, but an imperfect man you must be comfortable to share your imperfect life with.
Don’t focus on getting a man who has “everything already”, but one who has a life-long vision that you share and with whom you can build a bright future together.
Focus on developing your career and the ability to provide for yourself and the lucky Queen you will fall in love with.
Getting married before you have developed a clear vision and a sense of direction in your life can be catastrophic.
You should aim to attract into your life a lady who is not just beautiful and lovely in your eyes, but one who shares your dreams, is progressive and keen to work with you to make both your dreams become a reality over time.
WHEN YOU GET MARRIED:
On your wedding day, don’t waste too much money on that single day’s event. It is unwise to do so. Remember, this is just the beginning of the rest of your life together.
You might ride in a convoy of borrowed Range Rovers, but that will just be a show for one day. Be sensible in your spending on a day’s celebration for you will still have decades of your marriage to finance.
When you get married, don’t be pressured into having children just because society expects you to. Only have them when you are both ready for the serious challenges of parenting.
Your children must be welcomed into a stable relationship and in a financially-stable home. By all means, your children shouldn’t be fed “free porridge” at school by some donors!
BEFORE YOU HAVE CHILDREN:
Know that parenting is a full-time work. Don’t think “Anaphiri”, Cartoon Network or Disney Channels will do the parenting on your behalf. Your kids will need your time and parental care.
PREPARE FOR THEM:
It’s not just the nappies or the baby milk that will be required. You will need to plan for their entire 18 years in advance.
For example, think about the type of schools you would want your children to attend and how much it would cost.
Then start saving and investing towards the education of your children even before they are born. Count the cost of parenting BEFORE becoming parents.
BE LIKE THE BIRDS:
Birds don’t lay eggs in rented nests! (How I wish I had this wisdom before getting married). If you can, try to invest in buying or building your own house first no matter how small it might be.
Starts saving then buy a plot. You can start building a one-bedroom guest wing, move in and build the “main house” slowly.
Don’t rush into buying the expensive cars before you have a tittle deed. This is financial foolishness.
…to be continued